Pointless Ponderings -Life or Perspective Changing

Let me start out by saying this blog is mostly about getting me writing daily again. How can I claim to be something if I dont 'do' it on a regular basis. So I set out the daily models to at least start me off with topics (ie Weight Loss Wed, Food Fri etc) but I also have all these thoughts thoughout the day, random, small ponderings. They seem quite important at the time sometimes, but I have a terrible memory and sometimes they've dissapeared into the ether of my mind within a matter of hours, and I miss them becuase for a moment they felt like an important part of me. So I'm going to start including them here as my pointless ponderings in the hope that I can keep hold of them longer.

Today I was thinking about whether my life has changed since joining the church and in all honestly, not really.  Some of you might find it strange to hear me say that, but if you ask the more specific question, has my perception changed? Most definately!  But God hasn't changed, he is the same yesterday, today, tomorrow, eternity...so if he hasn't changed, if he has always loved me and known me then what has changed?  I guess in one sense my gratitude towards him, my acknowledgement of his plan and love rather than 'coincidence'

My life still stinks sometimes as it did before. Sometimes even more! At the moment the transport area of my life stinks so much you'd think something crawled up there and died, well in fact, it did. Our car. The car that we bought 18 months ago that was supposed to be a great car replacing the old money pit of a stinker. Which turned about to be another money pit of a stinker on grander proportions. Bigger does not always = better sometimes it just means bigger bills!  So I got a call from our mechanic today who, for the last three weeks, has been trying to find if there was a way to bypass or cheaply fix our car so we can at least trade it in to a dealer for some shred of what its worth. He reported that after giving false hope of running for 20 min it sputtered, belched, and bellowed out smoke before dying a undignified death. Meaning our only option now is to arrange trainsport to scrap yard and hope we get some spare change out of it. 

Devestating (ok devestating might be slightly too strong a word but indulge me) yes, but do you know what my first thought was, thank goodness we dont have to worry about making the right decision anymore, it's made for us. Now lets move on.  I'd been so worried and paralysed by fear of making a wrong decision about the car that although this has hit us hard financially,it's removed a load of stress that I didn't need and now I can move forward. 

Silver lining baby!  No my life hasn't changed since joining the church, but I can find a silver lining in anything these days. I know I will not be given a burden without also being given the tools I need to deal with it.  Ok, I loved the big old beast, it was an ideal car for what we needed (if it wasn't dead) but it's not to be and so now I'll move on. A little dissapointed, a little frustrated, a little bit poorer for now but gratefull of the new perspective I have in life.